So, after much struggling, I finally have an option open.
I downloaded the new Spring STS, which is basically Eclipse with a whole lot of Spring-ness added to it. I tried to install the STS plugin in eclipse but no luck, so I thought I’d give this a go.
The FB3 install fails, but can be manually fixed by doing the following:
1) Install FB3 (I installed it in the STS main directory)
2) Do not overwrite the newer file when prompted so during the FB3 install. Finish the install.
3) Under the STS main directory go to dropins ( sts/dropins )and create a new directory there call FlexBuilder3 (sts/dropins/FlexBuilder3)
4) Now under the installed FB3 plugin (sts/Adobe Flex Builder 3 Plug-in) copy the entire “eclipse” (sts/Adobe Flex Builder 3 Plug-in/eclipse) directory to this new directory just created in step 3 above ((sts/dropins/FlexBuilder3)
5) Start STS and all is well.